Circumstances part 1

This post isn't going to be one of those "cute babies" post. This post isn't going to be one of those "wow, they do fun things over at the Shelton crib". This is going to be a "bare all, naked, ugly truth/man that girl has issues/no one will ever mistake Courtney for being perfect and having it all together" kind of post. This post has been a long time coming... as in probably since January, to be exact since Zeke was in the hospital over night with pneumonia. It hasn't been written yet because God was working on me... He is still working on me, but I am at a point where I feel like I can verbalize what is going on. So, if you aren't interested in that and all you want is cute chubby babies, come back another day

I feel like I need to give a little background here. Not much, but just a little. I was rescued from an eternity in hell when I was 17. I had been searching for something to fulfill me for a while. When approval from friends, a boyfriend, and competitive dancing did not make me feel whole, I didn't know where to turn. I wasn't brought up in a home where I wasn't shown love and affection. I was told probably too many times a day (according to my older brother once a day was plenty, thank you very much) how much I was loved by my parents. I wasn't brought up in a home that lacked discipline. My parents taught me boundaries and how to make choices that I wouldn't regret (and also how to fear the parent + a spanking). This wasn't something that my parents had lacked in providing for me. What was missing is something that everyone needs. When I discovered what I was missing it was as if Jesus had been running after me and all I had to do was turn around and run to Him. I had to acknowledge that I am in need of a Savior (not an easy task for an independent girl). I had to acknowledge that I can't do things on my own. I had to ask for Him to forgive me for my sins. I have to daily die myself and my selfish desires. This isn't something that I do easily or well a lot of days. I need God to give me strength. I need God to give me a desire to please Him and seek after the things that will bring Him glory. And that is the reason why we are here, why we were created... to bring God glory.

This post is getting to be quite long so to be continued at a later date...