2 weeks

I have decided to take pictures each month in a clothes basket to show Ellie's growth.  I took a picture at 2 weeks for a starting point.  When we went in for her 2 week check up she had gained more weight and now weighs almost a pound over birth weight!  I am so proud of our growing girl and can't wait to see her growth each month in these fun pictures :)

The day that changed our world

A year ago today, my world crashed around me.  On Monday, February 28, 2011, Spence and I joined the 1 in 4 pregnancies that end in miscarriage.  No, that isn't right.  We didn't miscarry, we lost our child.  Miscarry is a a word used to describe losing a pregnancy.  We lost so much more than that on that day.  For me, I lost what I built my security around.  Yes, I am a Christian and yes, my security should be in Christ.  But to be honest, I had built my identity around being Spencer's wife and Zeke, Ben, and future children's mother.  This is not something that I am bragging about and I am not at all saying that I got what was coming to me.  I am saying this for other wives and mothers who read this.  I pray that we did not lose Rae and then I have learned nothing through it to share with others.  God works everything to His good and His glory.  Rae has brought Him much glory.  I have clung to Him in a way I have not previously.  While I will not be able to say I am thankful for losing her, I can confidently say I am thankful to have Christ and to be closer to Him because of her. 
This year has been one of the most difficult in our life.  I spent from December '10-February 28, '11 pregnant and then we got pregnant again in June.  So, in 15 months, I spent 12 pregnant.  My hormones and emotions were all over the place (and still are to be honest).  I have worked through losing a child, worry over getting pregnant again, rushing to the dr over every little twinge, grieving on Rae's due date, celebrating holidays when I thought we would be holding an infant, having Ellie, and now facing the anniversary of Rae with out feeling guilt of our excitement with Ellie.  We have gotten through this year with Christ, each other, our church, family and friends. 
One of those friends wrote this.  I can not even begin to express how much it means to us.  To know that she isn't forgotten has been huge for me.  It has been so helpful for the many who have come out and shared their stories with us.  Not so that I can sit and compare my loss to yours, but to have others to walk this walk with.  So, for everyone who met with me for coffee, prayed with us, brought us a meal, held our hands, and were just there for us we are forever grateful for you. 

Boys Time

The boys have been having a blast with extra time with Spence.  He has been super dad and done so many fun things with them.  Just a few of the things have been story time, Museum of Life and Science, golf, and Lowe's trips.  He took a few pictures of their trip to the museum and sent them to me so I could share i nthe fun

 We don't usually do the whole bears/wolves/wind stuff, but the boys had a blast exploring something they hadn't done before (well I don't think we have done it in a year so they don't remember doing it)

 The boys LOVE playing music and banging on everything

I don't get the awesomeness of just walking through the caboose, but the boys clearly do

Transportation

Getting places with three is a bit different.  Here's what our van now looks like and what we look like on a walk around the neighborhood. 

 3 carseats?! What the what?!

Family of 5 on a walk 

 (I love that I caught our shadows so we are included in the pic)

good helper

Ben tells me often that he is a good helper.  And he actually is great when I ask him to do something for Ellie, he jumps to it.  One day he took it a bit too far though:

 He really wanted to give Ellie her bib, even when I told him she didn't really need it...

This is what I found when I looked into the pack and play.  

Shari's Berries

Spence's aunt and family live in California.  Since they can't get here to visit and meet Ellie, they sent us a sweet treat.  And I do mean sweet!  (Such a thoughtful and fun surprise, I can't wait to do the same for someone!)

 Shari's Berries

 YUM!

 He could have eaten them all!

Sugar coma

This is the video we took of the boys opening the box.  Thank you so much Mary, Chris, Will, and Elizabeth!!!  We can't wait to see you and have ya'll meet Ellie!

What happens when we aren't watching

It snowed!  Ok, so it wasn't a lot and it was all gone by 9 am, but it's probably all we are getting this winter.  Spence and the boys had a blast playing all morning while Ellie and I slept right through it.  At one point Spence brought Ellie downstairs so I could get a little more sleep.  When he came inside to check on her, this is what he walked up to:

Some notes I take from this:
1. Spence's commentary makes the whole thing
2. Zeke only knows one karate word
3. Ben does his own thing until he realizes there is something destructive going on and then he is all in